CHANTINGS OF THE HEART

I grew up listening to your soothing voice, Come Mayabini, come Anamika. Radio stations in Guwahati would play your songs be it AIR or FM.  Bihu nights were spent anticipating your presence. We the crazy Axomiya waited with bated breath to catch a glimpse of you our heartthrob.  Each time you sang a Bihu, we wanted more. A movie, a new album, a new song News wanted you or you wanted to be the newsmaker we never knew. Controversies & criticism galore yet you remained the same, much loved and in demand always.  Crazy streak ran in you always Sometimes a wrong pair of shoes Sometimes some fashionable hair do Or those rings, bracelets, bandanas and the attire.  Each time, each day something new to tease the youngsters.  Each interaction with you showed your persona, a different perspective from what others think.  A humble, gentle, soft spoken musician. A lyricist, a singer, a Rockstar. Yes, you sang in multiple languages, acted in movies. We loved everythi...

She posed! Wide angle, then a little closer. Those pearly white teeth shone so bright Just like the summer sun outside. She smiled, happy she was London Dreams reflected in her wide smile. Was she alone? No, there were many like her! London was just eight hours away!! Oh, is it? Yes, there was another like her with wild dreams. She was finally going to be reuinted- a lifetime of togetherness. Her dark brownish hands, the red bangles just worn yesterday. And the daimond ring and platinum bangles given by her Mr Adorable. She adorned them all, she was meeting him finally.  The young mother gleaming with joy, finally London Dreams were coming true. She planned how to set up the house, her wishlist still having seventy nine items to be procured for her new 'London Home.' She took that instant selfie and converter it into a status, yeah finally her much awaited journey began  Who knew those wild dreams, those happy moments would be the last. No more selfies, no conjugal life, no se...

She didn't have the looks, nor was she the class topper. Yet, she had dreams! Wild, vivid dreams, quite extraordinary, out of the box, incomparable.  She loved to smile, natural, free flowing, attractive ( that's what many say). She knew the art; the art of hiding tears behind those smiles, mostly real, rarely fake.  She was lost at one point of time, yet she recollected herself and made the most of it. Who knew what she endured? Those bruises of her past still haunt her! Could she overcome those? Maybe, maybe not! Did anyone care? Maybe, maybe not!  Did it bother her? Maybe, maybe not! Anyone cared, doesn't matter. But in reality It did bother her! Each night the tears casually flowing from her kohl laden eyes. People say love gives pain, she carried it each day. For her neither was she, not her love Fake. Young she was, never in love. Thought it to be true and got betrayed. Broken apart, ripped to the core. She recollected herself, challenged herself. She did it. The or...

Now, many of you must be wondering that I am going to write a story. Well, this time I deviate and decide to just pen down my random thoughts in this blog of mine. I have had the best English teachers ever, well that should be since I studied in a Convent and a teacher teaching English in a Convent school definitely must be exceptional, out of the box. Yes, I vividly remember the first time I fell in love with the language was when our very strict (that was our assumption then, since we couldn't master English grammar and was scared that she might ask us questions and we would be embarrassed before the class) Miss Monica (well she was a Mrs, but we Convent going girls were taught to address everyone irrespective of their marital status as Miss) started teaching us English in Grade 9. I was awestruck at the manner she explained the chapters and made grammar lessons at ease for us. I still remember she always used to wear light coloured floral printed sarees which made her look prett...

You are gone!  Far even before I could imagine... Just one moment you were in my arms We both wading through the knee deep water.... We talking of the tenga masor anja... And the next moment you are gone... Disappeared, slipping out of my hands... Before I could recollect anything.... You were just washed away!!! Wailing, screaming, pleading, hoping that I your father would save you. ... But I so helpless... Desperately hunting every drain... Searching for you ...day and night... Madness overpowered me... I could think of nothing my son... Three days later... I hold you back in my arms... This time wrapping in a white shroud... I wail, I wail and I wail... I don't know how I shall survive without you... My son...!!!

As I try to sleep in the comforts of the airconditioner I reminiscence the good old days, Days when the sultry summer nights would be so different. Our villa like house on the foothills of the great Nilachal was very spacious and had ample fruit bearing trees along with different varients of the hibiscus- a typical Bengali household who worships Goddess Kali.  The darkness on a night when electricity would be gone for hours and we would be sitting outside our houses.  Me scared to hell of ghosts, leopards or snakes venturing in the darkness.. Would always carry the biggest torchlight and a stick. I remember how all four of us - My parents and my brother including me would watch the fireflies and listen to the sounds of some wild insects.  Dad and Mom would share stories of their childhood, of our grandparents, their hardwork and struggles, of the Indo- China war when they were kids. The Assam Agitation, the struggle and success stories of their job hunts and so more. Mom ...

They were sobbing.. Fear writ all over their faces Clung on to her hands They don't want to go back Luxury they didn't want The shelter was their solace  They loved this place There lived a demon and a demoness Who ruined their childhood They were merely four  Yet life seemed dreadful! Showpieces they were for the society Care, love and affection were just exhibits Their souls were wretched and miserable They wanted to break free  The shackles of bondage and terror They cried their heart out... Sometimes for hours .... Scorching sun burning their tiny bodies The hot iron burning their thighs The piercing needles piercing their backs One day life changed Someone saw their plight And decided to take the might Fought for their right And gave the tormentors tight Social prestige down the drain  They now rot in jail But ... The fear is still intact The future as unpredictable as before They have a home Which isn't a home.  They still feel it is a safe haven! Atleast ...

I wake up wondering ... Life is beautiful!  The mist in the dawning air The tiny droplets of dew on my window panes The glimmering sunlight  Radiates a warmth in the air I snuggle in the cosy couch Somewhere far, a peacock calls I listen in amazement. And the pigeons coo in my balcony May be they are talking sweet nothing's! The aroma of strong coffee  Makes me nostalgic  Oh! how I love my holidays  My coffee, books and music! 

You are far! Too far now..!! Don't know what it was..but Just the thought of YOU Leaves behind a Smile ... Creates a thousand ripples My heartbeat paces up.. Butterflies in my stomach.. An unending desire  Just to hold your hands Once.. And maybe give you a Hug.. And the Parting Kiss.. I know I am no longer a teenager To fall in love but... Can we stop falling in love? You never Knew.. Will never Know.. Because the Ripples remained intact Within Me...just like a sweet Dream  A beautiful Memory of your Smiles 😊

Sometimes... Sometimes it so happens That you admire someone The way they treat you! Care for you or  Maybe... But ...

The fragrance of the lilies from the beautiful manicured garden of Ankita was soothing the wreaking nerves of Anjan. It had been an unusually busy week for him with erratic work hours, missed schedules, impromptu meetings and obviously sleepless, worrisome nights.  Anjan reclined and just looked out of the balcony thinking, 'Who says money can't buy you happiness?' He recollected how he came to the city with just a pair of clothes and a thousand rupees with mighty dreams in his beaming eyes.  It was a Sunday, a bright, beautiful day and Anjan decided to spend the day with his family. He turned his phone to the flight mode and came to the bed to cuddle his heartbeat, his son Veda who was sleeping peacefully unaware of the chaos the world outside was going through.  Anjan looked at his son's face, smiled and felt contented. For him life was the most beautiful in the company of his son. The tiny fingers just clinging on to him, the expectant eyes longing for company and pl...

Cachophony of words... Deep thoughts!! Solitude... I am trying to write but... I am lost! What should I write? How should I write? Where should I begin from? The Past, the Present or the Future! Am I going through a 'Writers Block'?  Or that I have lost my senses to Emote! So many words, stories to jot But still I have no thought !  Cachophony!!

Words evade us! Thoughts happening  But ... Incomprehensible  May be that's what you think.. What you feel is mine too Only that I prefer 'Silence'!

' The spring may be vibrant and endearing, autumn is all about fading out, solitude and loneliness.' - Sara  Psychology as a whole deals with the study of the human mind and behaviour and it's several aspects. Focus these days is more on the study of the young in the form of child or adolescence psychology and dealing with the varying cause- effects. Ignored to a larger extent are the old and the mental aspects associated with ageing.  The question that often encompasses my mind is, 'Are we caring for the old?' Are we nurturing them tenderly?' Mostly the answer would be a big 'NO'. A big shoutout to those career oriented, selfish individuals who have left their parents to fend off for themselves. It's time to look back and say, ' I Do!' Well, I am forced to write this based on several observations over the past few months. Snippet 1- The old lady (wrinkled, stooping, probably in her 70's) was at a shopping complex, struggling to buy the g...

Each day I look for you.. I wonder where you have been - My eyes search for you frantically From dawn to dusk  And then again.... From dusk to dawn.  The never ending cycle continues... They say you would come soon I wait at the threshold of my doorstep Desperate.... My eyes brimming with Hope! My skin waiting for your delicate touch.. The caress and the comfort of your company  I love more than anything...  I wait It's been several weeks now But.... I search for you, with bated breath Time and again  You have sent a glimmer of Hope  But.... You evaded me.. Again and again!! Dear Rain.... Please visit me I wait for you with Bated breath and HOPE! *(It's been several week now that people are suffering due to extreme hot weather conditions and no rainfall)

Who's mother she is I don't know! Daily I see her.... Sometimes roaming aimlessly Sometimes bathing her strained back in the Sun! At times she reclines Herself on boundary walls of neighbours.... Unaware of the world passing by, she is in her own self. Lost in her deep thoughts  Sad or happy I don't know I see her sometimes staring at my face Hopefully.... At other times sitting on someone's gateway... Is it her gateway in her own way? The doorway to her happiness or misery I am still unaware !  I look at her daily in my sojourn  And wonder why is she so devoid of company? No friends, no neighbours to keep her company and listen to her cacophony... I wonder, have we become too materialistic and mechanical? Are we ignoring the old ? Can we spare some time and give them company? Let them be happy in the last few years!! Can we spare some time for the elderly? Can the blank eyes be replaced with happiness and hope?  She may be somebody's Mother... But let's be her ...

"Mom"," Mom Save us! " "It's burning, Mom, please save us." ' Aita', 'Aita' (bosua amak) Help us, Save us!! Arunima went hysterical once again!! She was uncontrollable, she was screaming and crying. It's been over three months now. Avinash held her up and started caressing and cajoling her not to cry. Avinash's heart was breaking too but he decided he would remain strong, he wouldn't be shattered. He needs to remain strong for his lady love, Arumina and his mother.  Arunima was sobbing. Over the past few weeks she had been mostly in a state of daze and bewilderment. She was under heavy doses of medication, being injected with anti- depressants and in taking sleeping tablets. Slowly, Avinash let his wife Arunima go off to sleep, he knew sleep evaded her. He switched off the light and looked around the house.  Avinash sat on the recliner, in order to read the newspaper. As he turned the page, a particular news caught his atte...

Kadambari held the small box of sindoor on her hands. She loved the colour. Crimson red!! Yes, that was what she loved seeing on people's forehead. It was unlike the dark brownish colour found in her part of the country.  Kadambari stood looking at the small round red box, her eyes became moist. She remembered the day when the mother of a student gifted her a packet after she praised the colour of the ' Sindoor '. That evening she applied the vermilion after freshening up, and she looked bright and different. The red colour on the parting of her hair appeared immensely beautifully against the white Jasmine flowers, which she often ties to her long hair. Her husband Srijith praised her. She smiled remembering how crazy he was. Amma, 'Niru', Amma, 'Niru'. Her two year son Bivash who was playing nearby brought her back to her senses. She opened the water bottle and let the child have water. As she was sitting in the mat below, everything appeared before her ey...

Tears flowed down her cheeks Like a stream of salty water From eyes which were blue with Hope Of a reconciliation- a new beginning Eyes which weaved dreams of happiness Eyes which hoped of a life like a queen A queen in his heart He did not understand her, her pain, her agony He crushed her beyond his feet Her dreams crushed therewith The dream of a happy life  

Yet again! Humanity was shocked, tattered and shattered. Where am I living? In a state where people can't differentiate between the right and wrong!!